September 13, 2021

(From the archives of 2015)

“Trying To Find Myself”

          One of the more challenging statements I wrestled with, in the beginning, was the one saying, “You are not your thoughts.”  I went along with it much as the lemmings follow along, or so I’ve heard, without the knowledge of where they are headed.  But deep down I didn’t understand it, and no didn’t truly believe it.  They were my thoughts I was having in my head—who else could claim ownership.


          Michael Singer, in his book The Untethered Soul, wrote, “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind—you are the one who hears it.  If you don’t understand this, you will try to figure out which of the many things the voice says is really you…People go through so many changes in the name of “trying to find myself”.  They discover which of these voices, which of these aspects of their personality, is who they really are.  The answer is simple:  none of them.”


          What a revelation.  I am the one who hears the voices of unworthiness, too late, not enough, too much; never will happen, ad nauseam.  I am not the voice nor the negative thoughts it conveys.  Singer goes on to add, “…The day you decide that you are more interested in being aware of your thoughts than you are in the thoughts themselves—that is the day you will find your way out.”


          That is perhaps the day you find meditation to be a way of quietly viewing your thought world, sitting quietly, aware of the activity but refusing to take part in it.  You may view your thoughts as logs floating by in a stream of consciousness, yet quietly resist the urge to jump on and ride them as a lemming.  You are the observer, the witness- not the log, neither the thought.


          In Joy,

                   Rev. Pat